A right to have fun

August 02, 2004

Don't listen to me, I'm just rambling on

Loooong weekend with Mr's family. It was nice to see them but it got very tiring. He had his great-aunt plus other family staying last night (not staying with us, but near us, and round for dinner), and I think the pressure got to me a bit.. I was cracking jokes about getting married 'for the first time' and about how lucky Mr was to have caught me, rather than the other way round - it was horrible, it was like a monster had got hold of my brain! It was one of those horrible things where afterwards you think 'oh my gosh, that was ME talking' and you want to curl up and hide for about ten years and you probably dwell on each thing you said for about ten years anyway. I don't think the others actually NOTICED that much (I hope) but I realised I was being terrible. I mean, they were laughing at my joke, but c'mon, they're Mr's family, so it's hardly very nice for them to hear that kind of joke. I am a mean person, but I think I'm fed up with everyone hijacking this wedding.

His sister's organising EVERYONE else without consulting with us, and taking over, and trying to push us around, and actually she's not being very considerate about my family (oooh, major rows ahead!) and I don't know, it's sort of getting me down, especially after the month or so of total strain when my father let us down. I'm still so hurt by his attitude. Anyway, he's staying with my aunt and grandparents at the moment, and there's been NO news from them for a few days so I guess they all hate me now or something.

paranoid......... Ergh. I think I need to stop thinking about it all so much and get on with something constructive.

I had SUCH a good idea for a short story this morning on my way into work and now it's totally gone, the minute I walked in the door.