A right to have fun

March 12, 2004

keep smiling

oh man am I having a bad day. It really sucks.

Loads of work, all of a sudden, as sometimes happens on Fridays, and everything is really sad. It is grey and raining outside. Mr didn't get the job he was PROMISED a few weeks ago. They spent ages dithering over the contract and then finally called to say the job wasn't available anymore. Plus I have so much work. Plus I hate it. Plus I have to go to a thing this afternoon I really didn't want to. Plus some people I really hate have suddenly called and announced they are in town tonight and because Mr feels beholden to them he can't say no, and I feel terrible because I don't want to see them (they have done some super-evil things in the past, and all of it concerns Mr and not me, but I can't forgive them on his behalf). So either he goes out with them on his own and I feel guilty, or I go out too and have to bite my tongue so that I don't say something I shouldn't, and also I am guaranteed to pass out from fatigue if I do go. I was looking forward to a lovely weekend, just the two of us, and now it's all ruined and I am tired and feel awful, and it is hard to explain, so I guess all of this makes me sound really selfish, but I can't help it.

Oh I sort of feel better now after that, but the problems aren't resolved, which is bad. We don't have any money. I am tired of being the breadwinner. I want a job I actually like too!

I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning!!!!!!!!!!!