A right to have fun

August 27, 2003

thinking about people

had utter hysterics last night with everyone. It was so nice to feel part of a group again. Even though I'm not. There was a girl there whose boyfriend dumped her recently, and she's dangerous. There was a girl there who's leaving, and another who's going away too. There were people making jokes and being stupid and funny and nice. We talked and talked and there wasn't anything better to do than sit under the stars and watch the lights come out and look at the other people sitting on the grass and wonder where on earth there might be somewhere to pee.

I will miss them. All those phone numbers - will we keep in touch? I doubt it. But it was nice while it lasted. Like being back at university, in the middle of a non-stop gang of everchanging people, going around en masse all day every day, all night every night. It's strange when I think back - we were rarely alone. There was always someone somewhere to share thoughts with, to have coffee with, to go out dancing with. It was fun and nice, and the real world just isn't like that. But I'm glad that fragments of that life come through every now and then.

I think that now I might resent having people around all the time. I've become more private. But then again, I might really love it. who knows...