A right to have fun

August 28, 2003

being sad

Saw my good friend yesterday, who is off across the world. Yet another one leaving!! What is this mass exodus? It feels strange. The end of an era. A gradual implosion of a world. Anyway. She seemed happy, so much happier than last time I saw her. She was bubbly and bright and in love - yay, good for her. I think she's really doing something she likes too. She's gone back to school. I want to go too. I keep reading about how people are starting classes and belong somewhere, and offices are just the pits, and really I want to be excited and challenged and to have to think hard and enjoy life and paint and draw and play music and study and have fun and hang out and - - am I looking for something that is just an ideal? Of course I am.

Anyway. Going on our summer holiday soon - can't wait! It is still so hot and gorgeous here, no-one's back from their holidays in the sun really, it's fun and bright and green and i like being somewhere where summer takes a while to get going and the seasons move slowly. Then when we get back it will be autumn and the colours will all start to change......... good. Mr said the other day he loves all the seasons and he couldn't stand to live somewhere without seasons. I feel like that too. Even on those really grey grim winter days when you feel it's been going on forever, even then it is nice to have seasons. And how could you appreciate a scorching summer if it was like that every day of the year?

I like summer storms, and spring rains, and autumn crispness and leaves, and winter snow.

And I like winter clothes, but I love summer clothes, just chucking on something simple, a dress and some sandals, and heading out the door without getting your hair blown in your face and your feet all wet from rain.

I am rambling far too much today. It is the thought of losing all these precious people in such a short space of time. It feels weird.

Who knows what to say about it? I can't analyse how I feel. Just sad I suppose, but happy for them, and happy to have known them, even if I never see them again..

:-(